As Dr. Peyman Tashkandi, I have seen countless talented young individuals walk into my office with their heads hanging low. They aren’t there because they lack skill. In fact, many of them are the most talented players on their soccer teams or the lead actors in their school plays. They are there because when the spotlight hits or the whistle blows, their bodies react in ways they can’t seem to control. This is the reality of performance anxiety.
We often call it “stage fright” or “choking,” but for the young athlete or actor experiencing it, it feels like the end of the world. It is a physical and emotional hurdle that can turn a passion into a source of dread. However, I am here to tell you that this is not a permanent state. With the right tools and understanding, anxiety can actually be transformed into a powerful fuel for success. Today, I want to explore what is happening in the brains of our youth and how we can help them thrive.
Understanding the Mechanics of Fear
To defeat an enemy, you first have to understand them. Anxiety isn’t just “being nervous.” It is a biological survival mechanism. When a young quarterback sees a linebacker charging, or an actress steps onto a stage in front of 500 people, the brain’s amygdala (the alarm system) perceives a threat. It doesn’t matter that the audience isn’t actually going to hurt them; the primitive part of the brain reacts as if a tiger is chasing them.
This triggers the “fight or flight” response. The body floods with adrenaline and cortisol. For a caveman running from a predator, this was great. It sent blood to the muscles and sharpened the senses. But for a violinist trying to hold a bow steady, or a basketball player trying to shoot a free throw with a soft touch, this adrenaline dump is a disaster. It causes trembling, shortness of breath, and tunnel vision.
My role as a Performance Anxiety Doctor is to help young people understand that their body isn’t broken. It is actually working too well. It is trying to protect them. The goal is not to eliminate these feelings entirely but to teach the brain that the stage or the field is a safe place, not a battleground.
The Difference Between Jitters and Anxiety
It is important to distinguish between normal excitement and debilitating anxiety. “Good nerves” can keep an athlete on their toes. They heighten awareness. True performance anxiety, however, is paralyzing.
Signs to Watch For
In my practice, I encourage parents and coaches to look for changes in behavior. Young people often don’t have the vocabulary to say, “I am experiencing a cortisol spike.” Instead, they show us through their actions.
- Avoidance: Suddenly finding reasons to skip practice or rehearsals.
- Physical Illness: Complaints of stomach aches, nausea, or headaches right before an event.
- Negative Self-Talk: Saying things like “I’m going to mess up” or “Everyone is watching me.”
- Freezing: Knowing the lines or the plays perfectly at home, but going blank during the performance.
Data Point 1: According to the National Institutes of Health (NIH), nearly 31.9% of adolescents have an anxiety disorder. This shows that if your child is struggling, they are far from alone. It is a widespread issue that requires attention and empathy.
Specific Challenges for Young Athletes
Sports are unique because they are dynamic. Things change in a split second. For young athletes, the pressure often comes from a fear of letting the team down. In individual sports like tennis or gymnastics, the isolation can make the anxiety even worse because there is no one else to share the burden.
I often work with athletes on “Process vs. Outcome.” Anxiety lives in the future (the outcome). “What if I miss this shot and we lose?” Peak performance lives in the present (the process). “Knees bent, follow through.”
When an athlete focuses on the mechanics of what they are doing right now, the brain doesn’t have time to freak out about the score. We use drills that simulate pressure so that the high-stakes environment feels familiar. If you have done it a thousand times in practice, your muscle memory can take over even when your brain is racing.
Specific Challenges for Young Actors and Musicians
For the performing arts, the anxiety is slightly different. It is often centered on judgment. An actor isn’t keeping a score; they are being interpreted. This subjective nature of the arts can make young performers feel incredibly vulnerable.
In these cases, perfectionism is usually the culprit. I tell my patients that there is no such thing as a “perfect” performance. Art is about connection, not precision. If you drop a line but stay in character and keep the emotion real, the audience will stay with you.
We work on “centering” techniques. This involves breathing exercises that physically force the heart rate to slow down. The 4-7-8 breathing method is a favorite of mine: inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 7, and exhale for 8. This signals the parasympathetic nervous system to calm the body down, overriding the fight-or-flight response.
The Role of the Performance Anxiety Doctor
You might wonder when it is time to see a specialist. If the anxiety is preventing a young person from doing what they love, or if it is affecting their self-esteem outside of their sport or art, it is time to seek help. As a Performance Anxiety Doctor, I look at the whole picture. We don’t just treat the symptoms; we look at the root cause.
Sometimes, we use Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). This is a fancy way of saying we retrain the brain. We identify the negative thought loops (“If I fail, I am a loser”) and replace them with realistic, positive ones (“If I fail, I learn, and I will get better”).
In some specific cases, we might look at medical interventions, but for young people, the focus is largely on building a mental toolkit. We want to empower them to be their own rescuers.
Data Point 2: Research suggests that cognitive-behavioral interventions can significantly reduce performance anxiety, with studies showing improvement rates in upwards of 70% to 80% of participants who actively engage in the therapy. This proves that this is a treatable condition, not a life sentence.
Strategies for Parents and Coaches
I cannot stress enough how important the environment is. Parents and coaches are the first line of defense. The most common mistake I see is well-meaning adults adding to the pressure without realizing it.
The Car Ride Home
The car ride home after a game or a show is a critical moment. If a child performed poorly, they already know it. They don’t need a lecture. Avoid analyzing the game immediately. instead, try asking, “Did you have fun?” or “I loved watching you play.”
This reinforces that your love and approval are not conditional on their performance. When a child knows they are safe regardless of the score, their anxiety levels drop naturally because the stakes don’t feel like life or death anymore.
Reframing Nerves
Help them re-label their feelings. When a child says, “I’m nervous,” you can say, “That just means your body is getting ready to be awesome. That feeling is energy.” By turning “fear” into “excitement,” we change the psychological association with the physical sensation.
You can read more about helping children cope with anxiety on this comprehensive guide from the Child Mind Institute. It offers excellent additional perspectives on supportive parenting.
Actionable Techniques for the Young Performer
If you are a young athlete or actor reading this, here are three things you can start doing today to take control of your performance.
1. Visualization
Athletes like Michael Phelps and Lebron James use this constantly. Before you step on the field or stage, close your eyes. Imagine everything going perfectly. Feel the texture of the ball or the heat of the stage lights. Imagine the crowd cheering. But also, imagine things going wrong and yourself handling it calmly. If you visualize recovering from a mistake, you won’t panic if it actually happens.
2. The “Reset” Ritual
Create a physical action that signals your brain to focus. It could be adjusting your shin guards, taking a deep breath and looking at a specific spot on the wall, or snapping a rubber band on your wrist. When you do this action, it means the past is gone, and you are focused only on the next play or the next scene.
3. Gratitude
It sounds cheesy, but it works. It is chemically very difficult for the brain to be anxious and grateful at the same time. Before you perform, think of three things you are thankful for. “I’m thankful for these shoes,” “I’m thankful I learned my lines,” “I’m thankful my parents are here.” This shifts your brain from “defense mode” to a positive state.
The Power of Preparation
There is no substitute for doing the work. Anxiety often stems from a lack of confidence. Confidence comes from competence. If you have practiced your monologue until you can say it backward, or if you have taken that penalty kick 500 times in the rain, you have a reservoir of evidence to draw from.
When the doubt creeps in, you can look at the facts. “I have done this before. I can do it again.” As a Performance Anxiety Doctor, I help my patients build this evidence log. We track successes, no matter how small, to build a wall of confidence that fear cannot easily knock down.
Embracing Imperfection
We live in a world of Instagram highlights where everyone looks like they are succeeding 100% of the time. This is false. Every professional athlete has lost games. Every Oscar winner has given a bad audition. Failure is not the opposite of success; it is part of success.
Young people need to know that one bad game does not define their career. One cracked note does not ruin a concert. Teaching resilience—the ability to bounce back—is far more valuable than teaching perfection. When the fear of failure is removed, the joy of the activity returns. And when we are joyful, we perform at our best.
Moving Forward with Confidence
Navigating the pressures of youth sports and arts is challenging, but it is also a wonderful training ground for life. The skills required to manage anxiety—focus, breathing, preparation, and positive self-talk—are the same skills that will help these young people ace job interviews and manage stress as adults.
I want every young person to know that feeling nervous means you care. It means you are pushing your boundaries. You are brave just for stepping into the arena. Whether you are holding a violin or a hockey stick, you have the capacity to master your mind.
If the anxiety feels too heavy to carry alone, remember that support is available. Finding a specialized Performance Anxiety Doctor can be the turning point that helps you reclaim the joy of the game. You were born to perform, and with the right mindset, nothing can stand in your way.